I'm really not digging for sympathy --
Jun. 30th, 2004 01:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingAnd this *once again* probably makes me sound like...
... a conceited bitch (add tone problems to the rest), but I felt like re-reading some of my stuff this morning, and it occurs to me that I'm not very good. No, really, I'm serious. Relatively, I'm like god, considering the average (lack of) quality among fic writers in the CCS fandom. (And that makes Tsukimine Shrine like Mt. Olympus.) But my sentences are choppy, I repeat phrasing almost as badly as Ann Rice -- and not just when I'm doing it for effect/continuity/allusion -- my description is thin (I never thought I'd say that!) and I don't take enough time in the telling.
A major reason for this is that everything I read this morning was done as one draft, with maybe a single re-read for editing, and then left as is. Lack of description I can blame on the nature of fanfic: you already know what everyone looks like, and world building is not required.
I suspect that I'll be happier with the things that had heavy editing: parts of "Clow Stories" (Idleness & Ease, and Teaser, are still my favorites), and "Hunger" because that was so hard to write. Parts of "Take Comfort".
For the month of July, I'm going to be concentrating on Turning the Key, and it really is something I'll be doing for me and not for attention. Which is a good thing, since I can be almost assured that it won't be read. {smile} Maybe when there are more than two chapters.
July is a pretty full month anyway, with various street fairs, the Lavender Festival, and L's birthday. (I spent a small fortune on origami paper in L.A.) July tends to rush by... although, for me, June hasn't. (This is good.) I'm also supposed to make a necklace for my best friend to go with her Ren Faire dress, and I have to at least sketch some designs before I start. The queue for my attention is... just... terribly long.
But Key is getting top priority; I have to read what I have on that [shudders]. At least Genny has a last name now, thanks to having to wait before my hair cut appointment! (Yay!)
My characters are now almost all interconnected. Corr has a "guest" appearance in Key, Jouet has already made her involvement with Clow known (first chara to cross-over), and the other Jenny is messing around with Henry (second chara to cross-over, even though she doesn't *actually appear* in Key). Very in-joke for me.
Vela is asking about her descendants -- I told her NO.
Clow and Henry insist that they have never met. I believe them. And they've also reminded me that they are NOT my characters. (I hadn't forgotten, really.)
Whatever keeps me amused, and therefore, writing, right? Cuz lord knows, I have a long way to go. I'd like to make something good, I really would.
I guess it sounds, lately, like I'm belittling fanfic (and by association, fanfic writers). I really don't mean it that way. Fic is its own thing; it provides entertainment, and fills a void. Its just that -- original fiction has to be created in order for fanfiction to exist. And no one can tell you that your characterizations are "wrong" or that your own characters are OOC. And unless you have mass appeal, no one's going to pair off your characters in ways you hate or in ways that you thing aren't true.
And Alex and Genny and Riddle (for all he's a cat) and the rest deserve their own time, and my attention. And I want to say something new. Lately, there just doesn't seem much "new" to say.
And now that that's said and out of my system, I'm going to see if Touya wants to let me write him this afternoon. He was so much trouble in the beginning, but I think I get him now.
... a conceited bitch (add tone problems to the rest), but I felt like re-reading some of my stuff this morning, and it occurs to me that I'm not very good. No, really, I'm serious. Relatively, I'm like god, considering the average (lack of) quality among fic writers in the CCS fandom. (And that makes Tsukimine Shrine like Mt. Olympus.) But my sentences are choppy, I repeat phrasing almost as badly as Ann Rice -- and not just when I'm doing it for effect/continuity/allusion -- my description is thin (I never thought I'd say that!) and I don't take enough time in the telling.
A major reason for this is that everything I read this morning was done as one draft, with maybe a single re-read for editing, and then left as is. Lack of description I can blame on the nature of fanfic: you already know what everyone looks like, and world building is not required.
I suspect that I'll be happier with the things that had heavy editing: parts of "Clow Stories" (Idleness & Ease, and Teaser, are still my favorites), and "Hunger" because that was so hard to write. Parts of "Take Comfort".
For the month of July, I'm going to be concentrating on Turning the Key, and it really is something I'll be doing for me and not for attention. Which is a good thing, since I can be almost assured that it won't be read. {smile} Maybe when there are more than two chapters.
July is a pretty full month anyway, with various street fairs, the Lavender Festival, and L's birthday. (I spent a small fortune on origami paper in L.A.) July tends to rush by... although, for me, June hasn't. (This is good.) I'm also supposed to make a necklace for my best friend to go with her Ren Faire dress, and I have to at least sketch some designs before I start. The queue for my attention is... just... terribly long.
But Key is getting top priority; I have to read what I have on that [shudders]. At least Genny has a last name now, thanks to having to wait before my hair cut appointment! (Yay!)
My characters are now almost all interconnected. Corr has a "guest" appearance in Key, Jouet has already made her involvement with Clow known (first chara to cross-over), and the other Jenny is messing around with Henry (second chara to cross-over, even though she doesn't *actually appear* in Key). Very in-joke for me.
Vela is asking about her descendants -- I told her NO.
Clow and Henry insist that they have never met. I believe them. And they've also reminded me that they are NOT my characters. (I hadn't forgotten, really.)
Whatever keeps me amused, and therefore, writing, right? Cuz lord knows, I have a long way to go. I'd like to make something good, I really would.
I guess it sounds, lately, like I'm belittling fanfic (and by association, fanfic writers). I really don't mean it that way. Fic is its own thing; it provides entertainment, and fills a void. Its just that -- original fiction has to be created in order for fanfiction to exist. And no one can tell you that your characterizations are "wrong" or that your own characters are OOC. And unless you have mass appeal, no one's going to pair off your characters in ways you hate or in ways that you thing aren't true.
And Alex and Genny and Riddle (for all he's a cat) and the rest deserve their own time, and my attention. And I want to say something new. Lately, there just doesn't seem much "new" to say.
And now that that's said and out of my system, I'm going to see if Touya wants to let me write him this afternoon. He was so much trouble in the beginning, but I think I get him now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
...now I won't be able to take that image from my head
Date: 2004-06-30 02:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 03:13 pm (UTC)I think everyone goes through a phase every now and then of rereading their old writing and realizing how much it sucked. I know I did, and expect I will again. However, if it's the lack of editing that bothers you more than the actual writing quality, I suggest you find someone to help you re-edit those stories. Not me, though.
If you're not god, I'm not sure I'm even allowed on Mt. Olympus. *skulks off to visit Hades*