butterflydreaming | Understand, Accept, Go Forward

Financial matters depress me substantially more than anything else. Financial errors tend to feel like wrong choices or lack of diligence. They feel like things that should have assignable blame. Sometimes, it is true that they are. And sometimes, they are still in the realm of "things happen".

I am depressed, and tired, and am not eating dinner because I have no appetite for it. I don't like being depressed, tired, and unmotivated to eat. My life philosophy is based on controling one's outlook. It's a severe blow when I can't talk myself out of it. (I don't want to talk to anyone else. When I feel l like this, I don't trust anyone else's counsel.) So, even though it hurts and I'm still depressed, tired, and not eating dinner, I am having tea and thinking about my life philosophy. This all despite that overall, financial matters have taken a swing toward the better; I can see it being notably better in another month.

We say things like "Look on the bright side" and "make lemonaide out of lemons", and those are so simplistic that they annoy the &$*@ out of me. "Live and learn" is not much better. I think I can put it this way: Understand the particulars of the situation, Accept the facts, Go forward. A lot of things are not fixable. Circumstances frequently do not have satisfactory conclusions. When possible, Go Forward means "apply whatever means to right the problem" (excercise more, stop talking to that person, don't shop at that store). Other times, it means "just keep breathing and go on with your life."

You can't successfully go forward without the first two parts. Acceptance doesn't sit well if you don't understand how the bad thing happened and why it is affecting you as it is, and what may follow. I work wells with a Plan of Action, and this is a plan of action that can generally be applied.

The question, "And what are you doing about it?" can sometimes be answered with, "I'm venting/ranting/talking it out." If you understand that this is a necessary step for you before you move on to acceptance, then I think that is a reasonable answer. If you stall out in the whining and self-pity rut... then you are probably not someone on my f'list or someone I call a friend. *moment of f'list cherishing*

I remind myself that I've done a lot of things right, and that some things were required and couldn't be helped. I remind myself that I have done my best. I understand that sometimes things happen, and in order to straighten them out there is hassle. I can also see the worst-case outcome, which is not even all that bad. It's workable. I remind myself that I don't expect life to be easy, but that things work out for me so often that it stings more when they don't. They work out for me because I've done a lot of things right, too. Which brings the circle around, and eventually I go forward feeling a little less depressed and tired, and a little more capable of tending my physical self.

Or maybe it was the hot shower and the vanilla honeybush tea.