What do you do...
Jan. 23rd, 2005 03:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreaming...to change your emotional state?
I used to think that counting down from 10 when you're angry was silly -- I saw it on cartoons as a kid, and thought it was just a joke. But I have a wicked temper, sometimes quick and hot, sometimes dangerously slow. Nothing can be done about the slow burn, except for me to take it apart piece by piece, but for the quick anger, the 10 count actually works. It's just distracting enough, and if feels like it requires the use of different parts of my brain.
There must be other things like this, things that would work for other negative emotional reactions. I've tried to use rules, like "before I say anything, I have to do x", but that's shaky at best. Promises to other people I can keep at the expense of my own life... or suffering... or whatever; promises to myself are made of flimsey stuff. I've written letters that I've never sent, rather than call someone (or call someone out). I've made myself do laundry, or clean my room, or talk to someone else first. But emotional state doesn't always go anywhere except further in, when I'm doing these things.
Sometimes you just have to eat, sleep, have a bath, or take a walk (or do some other physical activity). But what if that's not the root of the issue?
And what if it's not a state of emotion that's going to last, but your looking for some way to make it go away sooner? Like being angry and counting to 10.
I had a conversation with a schoolmate once about feeling sad. She said that she would listen to happy songs and they cheered her up. I, on the other hand, said I'd do better with sad music, songs about heartbreak and sorrow, because if they were pop songs, they'd be cheesy enough to make me laugh, and get cynical instead of sad. That doesn't work for me anymore, because the sad music that I own is really beautiful -- Jeff Buckley, the Cowboy Junkies, Billie Holiday, that sort of thing. And pop music would just put annoyance on top of my blues. In full-blown going under, I can't even listen to music, of any kind, because it feels like it's rubbing my senses that much more raw.
I imagine that everyone has there own tricks and methods, and I think I could stand to try some new ones. If I catch myself when I'm starting to slide, maybe I can pull myself out before it gets to far. So I'm wondering -- what do you do? Anger, sadness, crankiness, panic, whatever. How do you change that, if you don't just wait for it to blow over? Or do you just wait it out, and does that work for you?
And can you tell that this post is one of those "do this first" fulfillment of rules?
I used to think that counting down from 10 when you're angry was silly -- I saw it on cartoons as a kid, and thought it was just a joke. But I have a wicked temper, sometimes quick and hot, sometimes dangerously slow. Nothing can be done about the slow burn, except for me to take it apart piece by piece, but for the quick anger, the 10 count actually works. It's just distracting enough, and if feels like it requires the use of different parts of my brain.
There must be other things like this, things that would work for other negative emotional reactions. I've tried to use rules, like "before I say anything, I have to do x", but that's shaky at best. Promises to other people I can keep at the expense of my own life... or suffering... or whatever; promises to myself are made of flimsey stuff. I've written letters that I've never sent, rather than call someone (or call someone out). I've made myself do laundry, or clean my room, or talk to someone else first. But emotional state doesn't always go anywhere except further in, when I'm doing these things.
Sometimes you just have to eat, sleep, have a bath, or take a walk (or do some other physical activity). But what if that's not the root of the issue?
And what if it's not a state of emotion that's going to last, but your looking for some way to make it go away sooner? Like being angry and counting to 10.
I had a conversation with a schoolmate once about feeling sad. She said that she would listen to happy songs and they cheered her up. I, on the other hand, said I'd do better with sad music, songs about heartbreak and sorrow, because if they were pop songs, they'd be cheesy enough to make me laugh, and get cynical instead of sad. That doesn't work for me anymore, because the sad music that I own is really beautiful -- Jeff Buckley, the Cowboy Junkies, Billie Holiday, that sort of thing. And pop music would just put annoyance on top of my blues. In full-blown going under, I can't even listen to music, of any kind, because it feels like it's rubbing my senses that much more raw.
I imagine that everyone has there own tricks and methods, and I think I could stand to try some new ones. If I catch myself when I'm starting to slide, maybe I can pull myself out before it gets to far. So I'm wondering -- what do you do? Anger, sadness, crankiness, panic, whatever. How do you change that, if you don't just wait for it to blow over? Or do you just wait it out, and does that work for you?
And can you tell that this post is one of those "do this first" fulfillment of rules?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-24 05:18 pm (UTC)Quaker background? That's interesting!
It sounds like a good tip. I think I'll give it a try -- just being silent and still. I used to do that, but it was because I was afraid that I would "overspill" if I moved/breathed/anything. Maybe if it's more like meditation... .
no subject
Date: 2005-01-24 06:09 pm (UTC)