On Locking Posts, Filters, and LJ Friends
Jan. 8th, 2005 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingI recently re-assessed my policies on locking posts. If you are interested, the reasons follow:
Because I don't really think the term "Real Life" is accurate for me, I'm going to use "nonline". A friend suggested it, and I like it. (online vs not-online) I think that online interactions are just as "real" as physical world interactions; it's just a difference of format.
So I've decided to make my LJ completely public -- no more locking of posts, especially to specific groups, just because I want some people to read and others not to be able to. That's talking behind someone's back. And even the things that might not be universally interesting, like fanfiction/fandom discussion, I'll leave to the reader's discretion. You might not know what I'm talking about, but still want to read it. I use subject lines and lj-cuts, so there are plenty of clues. (In![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chrysalisdreams all of the fanfic is public, and only the original fiction is locked. The story type is always above the cut.)
Still, public for me is not 100% public. You'll notice that I don't have my picture anywhere (I'm working up to it, now that a bunch of you already know what I look like anyway), prefering that you think of me as horribly disfigured -- goes better with the Mad Genius persona -- or inexplicably beautiful -- which would suit the Sociopathic Megalomaniac. {laughs... maniacally} My first and middle names are on my info page, in part to explain my nick, but not my last name. It took me a long time to work up to *that*. I eventually realized that no one really pays that much attention to me, so if it's not information that makes identity theft easy, I don't need to hide it. It's not that I'm not paranoid. I'm a single young woman who has lived in big cities all her life, so I know what it's like to be hunted. (To quote the Cowboy Junkies.) I'd like to think that I'm just paranoid in the right places, very aware of possibilities.
If someone wants to seek out this journal, they are welcome to what they find out about me.
Locking
Friends-Only journals are for minors, or people who have a lot of nonline contact with people that could find their blogs, or would want to find that private information. (My sister was once called at her home phone number by a patient. A lot of information can be found without even going online.) If Googling for your nick pulls up more information about you than you would want certain people (co-workers, clients, family) to know, then the friends-lock is probably the right thing for you. I will occasionally still need to lock post, when they have identy-type information. I don't want to have anything in public posts that isn't on the users info page, like addresses or last names. So, essentially, if it's private about someone other than me, I'll lock it.
But what about your comments? Something that comes to mind is that you, on my f-list, don't all know each other. So even if I were to generally Friends Lock a post, what you say is still fairly public. Of course, you can email me personally, or ask me to delete the comment after I see it. You can comment anonymously, which I allow because my first comment was made before I committed to starting an account. I don't screen comments because I like to see my friends, and visitors, talking to each other freely. After all, you get to know a person better when you can get to know her friends.
There is plenty that I don't talk about at all on LJ, mostly details that concern family members or friends. (There have been a couple of posts with that kind of detail, which were either deleted/made private shortly after, or locked to begin with.) I'll tell you how I feel about it without telling you the circumstances. When I'm writing a post, I'm always aware that there is a public aspect to it, which curbs what I write. But I'm an exhibitionist, really, so I speak with a certain openness even in front of a (potential) audience. My family isn't invited to read my blog, so if a family member seeks it out, it's the same as reading my physical diary.
Filters
Not knowing anything about computers or cyberspace or blogging before just a short while ago, it took me months to discover what filters were, and how to use them. In the past, I've locked posts to specific groups. There can be very good reasons for this, such as story filters, or to safeguard certain lifestyle details. I don't need to use those filters here because I have a story-only journal, now, and this journal won't contain that kind of detail. There is one place where filters (Custom Friends Groups) are very useful, and that is in reading my f-list. I have a lot of communities, and some of them, like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
linguaphiles, are busy places, with 3 or more updates a day. So I have a "no communities" filter for when I don't have as much time. There is also an A List filter, for when I have almost *no* time... but the A List has already gotten long, and almost matches the nc filter. (You probably already know if you're on that list, since it's about mutual feeling.) I read everyone, even if it's a week later, because you're on my f-list for a reason. (And I'm an addict.)
"Friending"
LJ is oriented around meeting strangers. It is community heavy. Courtesy, on LJ, says that if you "friend" someone that they are obliged to add you as well, but that's not a policy with which I agree. I also wouldn't be offended if someone were to take me off of their List -- for whatever reasons. I, however, find it impossible to do this. I did it once, before discovering how to use filters for reading, and felt like a heel. I changed the format that the Friends page was displayed, and that solved the problem/annoyance with scrolling.
There are other blog sites that aren't as socially oriented as LJ. Greatest Journal has far fewer communities, and strikes me as being either less active, or grouping based more around people the journaler already knows. I like LJ because it has been a way to meet some wonderful friends who I never could have met otherwise, and, let's face it, probably wouldn't have been comfortable with starting up a friendship had we met in the world because of our age differences. I meet and talk to A LOT of people in everyday life. LJ is completely different. It removes distances. And, it is the written word.
If you look at my information page, you can see that I have friended many more users than I have actually befriended. If I find someone interesting, I add them, no obligation on their part, because it makes "stalking" so much easier. (And because I have the silly ambition to be a hub, likeangelevangeline.) Friending doesn't give me any special access to their journals, and it lets them know that I'm watching. I try to comment sometime early on, with something more significant than "hi!", because it's not polite to stare.
Few people post as often as I do, so adding rarely increases my f-list reading time overmuch. But since I *do* post daily, and twice and thrice daily, I really can't mind if others *don't* want to add me. But then, again... they can always use a filter!
This is not a manifesto. My personal feelings are my own, and I don't mean to imply that my way is the Right or Only way.
Because I don't really think the term "Real Life" is accurate for me, I'm going to use "nonline". A friend suggested it, and I like it. (online vs not-online) I think that online interactions are just as "real" as physical world interactions; it's just a difference of format.
So I've decided to make my LJ completely public -- no more locking of posts, especially to specific groups, just because I want some people to read and others not to be able to. That's talking behind someone's back. And even the things that might not be universally interesting, like fanfiction/fandom discussion, I'll leave to the reader's discretion. You might not know what I'm talking about, but still want to read it. I use subject lines and lj-cuts, so there are plenty of clues. (In
chrysalisdreams all of the fanfic is public, and only the original fiction is locked. The story type is always above the cut.)Still, public for me is not 100% public. You'll notice that I don't have my picture anywhere (I'm working up to it, now that a bunch of you already know what I look like anyway), prefering that you think of me as horribly disfigured -- goes better with the Mad Genius persona -- or inexplicably beautiful -- which would suit the Sociopathic Megalomaniac. {laughs... maniacally} My first and middle names are on my info page, in part to explain my nick, but not my last name. It took me a long time to work up to *that*. I eventually realized that no one really pays that much attention to me, so if it's not information that makes identity theft easy, I don't need to hide it. It's not that I'm not paranoid. I'm a single young woman who has lived in big cities all her life, so I know what it's like to be hunted. (To quote the Cowboy Junkies.) I'd like to think that I'm just paranoid in the right places, very aware of possibilities.
If someone wants to seek out this journal, they are welcome to what they find out about me.
Locking
Friends-Only journals are for minors, or people who have a lot of nonline contact with people that could find their blogs, or would want to find that private information. (My sister was once called at her home phone number by a patient. A lot of information can be found without even going online.) If Googling for your nick pulls up more information about you than you would want certain people (co-workers, clients, family) to know, then the friends-lock is probably the right thing for you. I will occasionally still need to lock post, when they have identy-type information. I don't want to have anything in public posts that isn't on the users info page, like addresses or last names. So, essentially, if it's private about someone other than me, I'll lock it.
But what about your comments? Something that comes to mind is that you, on my f-list, don't all know each other. So even if I were to generally Friends Lock a post, what you say is still fairly public. Of course, you can email me personally, or ask me to delete the comment after I see it. You can comment anonymously, which I allow because my first comment was made before I committed to starting an account. I don't screen comments because I like to see my friends, and visitors, talking to each other freely. After all, you get to know a person better when you can get to know her friends.
There is plenty that I don't talk about at all on LJ, mostly details that concern family members or friends. (There have been a couple of posts with that kind of detail, which were either deleted/made private shortly after, or locked to begin with.) I'll tell you how I feel about it without telling you the circumstances. When I'm writing a post, I'm always aware that there is a public aspect to it, which curbs what I write. But I'm an exhibitionist, really, so I speak with a certain openness even in front of a (potential) audience. My family isn't invited to read my blog, so if a family member seeks it out, it's the same as reading my physical diary.
Filters
Not knowing anything about computers or cyberspace or blogging before just a short while ago, it took me months to discover what filters were, and how to use them. In the past, I've locked posts to specific groups. There can be very good reasons for this, such as story filters, or to safeguard certain lifestyle details. I don't need to use those filters here because I have a story-only journal, now, and this journal won't contain that kind of detail. There is one place where filters (Custom Friends Groups) are very useful, and that is in reading my f-list. I have a lot of communities, and some of them, like
linguaphiles, are busy places, with 3 or more updates a day. So I have a "no communities" filter for when I don't have as much time. There is also an A List filter, for when I have almost *no* time... but the A List has already gotten long, and almost matches the nc filter. (You probably already know if you're on that list, since it's about mutual feeling.) I read everyone, even if it's a week later, because you're on my f-list for a reason. (And I'm an addict.)"Friending"
LJ is oriented around meeting strangers. It is community heavy. Courtesy, on LJ, says that if you "friend" someone that they are obliged to add you as well, but that's not a policy with which I agree. I also wouldn't be offended if someone were to take me off of their List -- for whatever reasons. I, however, find it impossible to do this. I did it once, before discovering how to use filters for reading, and felt like a heel. I changed the format that the Friends page was displayed, and that solved the problem/annoyance with scrolling.
There are other blog sites that aren't as socially oriented as LJ. Greatest Journal has far fewer communities, and strikes me as being either less active, or grouping based more around people the journaler already knows. I like LJ because it has been a way to meet some wonderful friends who I never could have met otherwise, and, let's face it, probably wouldn't have been comfortable with starting up a friendship had we met in the world because of our age differences. I meet and talk to A LOT of people in everyday life. LJ is completely different. It removes distances. And, it is the written word.
If you look at my information page, you can see that I have friended many more users than I have actually befriended. If I find someone interesting, I add them, no obligation on their part, because it makes "stalking" so much easier. (And because I have the silly ambition to be a hub, like
angelevangeline.) Friending doesn't give me any special access to their journals, and it lets them know that I'm watching. I try to comment sometime early on, with something more significant than "hi!", because it's not polite to stare. Few people post as often as I do, so adding rarely increases my f-list reading time overmuch. But since I *do* post daily, and twice and thrice daily, I really can't mind if others *don't* want to add me. But then, again... they can always use a filter!
This is not a manifesto. My personal feelings are my own, and I don't mean to imply that my way is the Right or Only way.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-08 08:07 pm (UTC)I use locks because I have certain people (IE my ex husband) who I know read my LJ and frankly I don't want him to have too many clues about where I am. My mailing address hasn't been by home address since that ended.
Secondly, I sometimes discuss my sex life, and I have family who read. It's not that they don't know about my sex life, but it would be awkward to have them know about my sex life.
I hope I never use my LJ as a drama tool, where I use filters to talk behind other friend's backs.. that sucks.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-08 08:38 pm (UTC)And, while I'm ordinarily a very open person, there are certain details I want kept only to my close personal friends, or sometimes they involve another person and can't be said publically. (And there's a difference between ranting and asking for advice than talking behind someone's back, imo.) I have enough close friends that on some issues, it's just easier to use LJ than contact them all via IM.
Though, I get what you're saying. I don't filter like some people do. I have a Close list, a Trusted list (people I would trust with my life), and novel filters. And that's really about it. I think everything else is public. :P
no subject
Date: 2005-01-08 11:27 pm (UTC)Some things I mention in my LJ haven't got passed the statute of limitations. ;)
Your friends list is set up like mine as well.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-08 11:33 pm (UTC)And you aren't inexplicably beautiful? *raises an eyebrow*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 03:21 am (UTC)On that note... I'm not paranoid. Really.
Just terribly, terribly aware.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 09:26 pm (UTC)that's a big part of the reason for my heavy use of friendslock, right there.
Of course, you can email me personally
only works if we know your e-mail address...
LJ is oriented around meeting strangers.
rilly? i got an lj mostly to keep in touch with people i already know. perhaps i'm perverting its use to further my own ends... {evil cackle follows}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 09:36 pm (UTC)Before I moved into Dave's circle, my experience with LJ was that most people had met online, and often haven't ever met IRL (a couple of exceptions). It might be that there are several LJ cultures working, but... especially because the majority of LJers are younger than me (and you, I'm guessing), I think it's pretty natural to them to have that kind of social life.
It still strikes me as really weird to mix on LJ with people you/I mix with *nonline*. Even with distance, I'm more likely to use other means, like emailing my friends/associates directly. But then, I've always needed to keep my friends groups separate.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 10:32 pm (UTC)yunno, i thought i'd checked for that. apparently i'm an idiot :-)
But then, I've always needed to keep my friends groups separate.
this is something i've approached variously over the years. there are some groups that just wouldn't fit together, but others would, have, and do.
perverts
Date: 2005-01-10 12:50 am (UTC)i got an lj mostly to keep in touch with people i already know.
i noticed that, with the people M&C has met in Edmonton. i'll look at their LJs occasionally when i've heard a lot about them or they leave a pithy comment, but there's so little public content of note that i haven't felt moved to friend anyone so that they might friend me just in case i might be missing something. i'm not much for the stalking, although i did partly start this thing to meet new people. it keeps working.
Re: perverts
Date: 2005-01-10 01:25 am (UTC)so you're saying we're weirdos? i'm ok with that :-)
there's so little public content of note that i haven't felt moved to friend anyone so that they might friend me just in case i might be missing something.
i've never yet friended someone i haven't met IRL -
first time meeting
Date: 2005-01-10 07:27 pm (UTC)Re: first time meeting
Date: 2005-01-10 09:38 pm (UTC)Re: perverts
Date: 2005-01-10 07:25 pm (UTC)And precious little *personal* content. (Not Judging!) I find it a bit frustrating... but, as I said, I'm not judging.
Re: perverts
Date: 2005-01-10 09:47 pm (UTC)My two cents...
Date: 2005-01-11 10:15 am (UTC)Re: My two cents...
Date: 2005-01-11 08:23 pm (UTC)What I like about reading your journal is that even though you write with care, leaving out everyday details of your life, I still feel like I know you. What you write in your journal has a poetic conveyance of emotion, like a whisper. {smiles} And that's what I would rather know about someone, anyway.
*blushes*
Date: 2005-01-12 11:07 am (UTC)I used to feel that people knew too much about me. Recently I found out that a lot of people find me "mysterious" *laughs* I never thought of myself as that.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-12 08:26 pm (UTC)