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butterflydreaming When you're lucky, you get to go back to sleep after waking up in the morning and get a few hours of lazy dream time. That sleep can be so delicious.
But with certainty, I will have weird content, unpleasant dreams. Not super unpleasant, but those have been the ones I've woken you from crying, for example, or have given me thoughts that linger with me all day. I needed the sleep this morning, stayed up too late too many days in a row, but the dream was a sad one.
It had layers, of course. There ridiculous part that was Supernatural related, but about the corporate level and scene locations. There was a part after about religions neighbors who also bead crafted. But in the middle was this: I saw my late cat, Aya. He looked healthy and plump; he came to me in a parking structure. And with him was a grey tabby kitten, sickly looking, who had one eye gooped shut, making me conclude the kitten was blind. I pet Aya. He seemed happy. The kitten was a friend, and they were both in need of a home, because I abandoned Aya. That's why I didn't have him with me anymore.
I was so horrified by that. I texted D to tell him, and he replied that he had seen an article in the local/neighborhood blog about strays, had seen that Aya wasn't skinny-sick anymore and was doing well.
This was awful. I had the thought that Aya had been sick from living with me, but now that he had been free roaming, he was better. But he still needed a home. Life as a stray was hard. His kitten friend needed a home.
And then, in a flash, it was a dream inside a dream. Because I remembered that Aya was dead. I remembered that I had wrapped him up and carried him to be buried. In my dream I just sat there, thinking, how I could I have forgotten? Even in a dream? A dream where dream D had forgotten, too, had confused Aya with another cat.
And here I am awake now, and thinking how Aya was in my dream-inside-a-dream, but he had a cat friend. And maybe the little grey tabby was the dead one I saw by the side if the road, circa 1991, that I didn't bury.
But with certainty, I will have weird content, unpleasant dreams. Not super unpleasant, but those have been the ones I've woken you from crying, for example, or have given me thoughts that linger with me all day. I needed the sleep this morning, stayed up too late too many days in a row, but the dream was a sad one.
It had layers, of course. There ridiculous part that was Supernatural related, but about the corporate level and scene locations. There was a part after about religions neighbors who also bead crafted. But in the middle was this: I saw my late cat, Aya. He looked healthy and plump; he came to me in a parking structure. And with him was a grey tabby kitten, sickly looking, who had one eye gooped shut, making me conclude the kitten was blind. I pet Aya. He seemed happy. The kitten was a friend, and they were both in need of a home, because I abandoned Aya. That's why I didn't have him with me anymore.
I was so horrified by that. I texted D to tell him, and he replied that he had seen an article in the local/neighborhood blog about strays, had seen that Aya wasn't skinny-sick anymore and was doing well.
This was awful. I had the thought that Aya had been sick from living with me, but now that he had been free roaming, he was better. But he still needed a home. Life as a stray was hard. His kitten friend needed a home.
And then, in a flash, it was a dream inside a dream. Because I remembered that Aya was dead. I remembered that I had wrapped him up and carried him to be buried. In my dream I just sat there, thinking, how I could I have forgotten? Even in a dream? A dream where dream D had forgotten, too, had confused Aya with another cat.
And here I am awake now, and thinking how Aya was in my dream-inside-a-dream, but he had a cat friend. And maybe the little grey tabby was the dead one I saw by the side if the road, circa 1991, that I didn't bury.