By hook or by
Jul. 12th, 2018 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingEvidence indicates that in March, I stopped writing. I know I opened documents several times and added nothing at all. This was not writers block.
I know that I told myself several times that I was not depressed. Not sure I was.
But when I am starting a slide, I can sometimes remember things I can't when I'm well. So right now, I know I'm not at my best, even though I seem fine and mostly am fine. Executive function failure is still in the don't-wanna range.
I kind of don't want to examine too closely why I stopped writing. I'm writing again, fanfic because I know it will get read. Nothing like the 10K+ (crazy!) hits on that one fic, but everything gets ten or twenty at least. And that's a motivator. When I'm home from vacation, I will be able to work on my own stuff.
I just needed to get those word wheels rolling again. There's a lot of mud working against them.
It's funny/not funny that one of the things I remember is how much I ship a certain pairing, and why. My favorite character that isn't mine, I can hear his voice and see his body language. There's something I want to say about that, but I don't want to say it aloud.
I know that I told myself several times that I was not depressed. Not sure I was.
But when I am starting a slide, I can sometimes remember things I can't when I'm well. So right now, I know I'm not at my best, even though I seem fine and mostly am fine. Executive function failure is still in the don't-wanna range.
I kind of don't want to examine too closely why I stopped writing. I'm writing again, fanfic because I know it will get read. Nothing like the 10K+ (crazy!) hits on that one fic, but everything gets ten or twenty at least. And that's a motivator. When I'm home from vacation, I will be able to work on my own stuff.
I just needed to get those word wheels rolling again. There's a lot of mud working against them.
It's funny/not funny that one of the things I remember is how much I ship a certain pairing, and why. My favorite character that isn't mine, I can hear his voice and see his body language. There's something I want to say about that, but I don't want to say it aloud.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-13 07:36 am (UTC)That's a lot of my issues, lately. I just "shut down" when the anxiety is too bad, or I'm too stressed.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-15 04:28 pm (UTC)Hearing a character's voice and seeing his body language goes with any fiction you're writing, I would have thought?