No! Shut up! I'm writing!

[butterflydreaming]

NaNoWriMo makes me feel like an ass. Others may agree that I am an ass this month. I don't pick up the phone. I don't call back. My emails are short and lack my usual antiquated use of salutation. I haven't even read a letter that came in, let alone moved to reply. The cats... oh, the cats are Not Pleased, though I do appease them by having the space heater on.

I feel selfish, but what makes it bad is that I feel smug about being selfish. My time is writing time. My time is not for you. So what if I'm sitting at my desk writing something other than my NaNo -- you don't know that. Get out of the way! I have a word count that must not lag behind!

I think I'm supposed to feel guilty, but I don't really feel guilty. It feels like giving myself and expensive gift that I've been denying because of all the other things that are needed. Don't ask anything from me, I'm writing!

I don't even want to think about what happens, come December. It makes me feel like something is going to be taken away from me.