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butterflydreamingHow do you know someone? How do you get to know someone?
Is it a matter of time's passage, or of time spent together? That implies that you're listening, observing, and thinking about what you've heard and observed. But how much of that is fiction, created by your own past experience and your assumptions about motivations and background?
-When I'm unhappy about something that I don't want to go to battle over, I become quiet.
-I like to sleep.
-The joy of (good) food has prominence in my thinking. I love to eat. I use food metaphors. I've probably told you that I won't eat with someone I dislike.
-My thoughts are often elsewhere. I space out a lot.
-I know things that you don't expect me to.
Does it come from conversations? If the person you know is the person who is now, his history has contributed to the present version. However, a person is not her history, not if she grows and changes. All people change over time, whether with intent or by having change imposed. Even our memories about our histories change. Whether or not "time turns all memories into good ones", the forward movement that puts chronological distance between now and the event muddles the memory. Try it. Write an event of today down in as much detail as you can, including your emotional impressions. In a few months or a year, go back to what you have written.
-I didn't date in until I was almost 20, and all that implies.
-I was raised Catholic. My first three years of school were at a poor, private Catholic school; then we moved and I went to an affluent public school. I've had periods where I've been a devoted (not devout) Catholic; I sang in the choir for years; I considered becoming a nun. I'm not confirmed -- because I won't make promises unless I intend to keep them.
-I didn't go to kindergarten or pre-school. I can't remember when I first learned to read. In contrast, I got my driver's license at 24. (Unthinkably late, in L.A.)
-I took a computer programming course over the summer months, when I was 12. I was good at it, and I loved it.
-For 5 years, I was sort-of engaged. The last 8 months of it, we were officially engaged. I never got an engagement ring. My official proposal was over a roasted vegetable quesadilla. He only wanted to keep me because I was planning to move to Houston, TX. He never had the guts to officially call it off. I walked out on him. Actually, I ran away for several days. He changed the locks before I got back.
Sometimes, thelies stories we tell ourselves are there to free us.
Or is it through some other way? When you say to yourself, I know her, what do you mean? When you think, I don't know anything about him, what do you mean? What do you want to know?
-One of my biggest fears is of not being able to breath. I came near drowning in a pool when I was small. I've never liked having a blanket over my head. Gags are un-fun. In my mid-twenties, I developed allergy related asthma... not good. I've learned how not to panic when wheezing starts.
-My future is completely unplanned, because until my last birthday, I hadn't decided if I would have one. I'm looking forward to being an "old lady".
-I believe in ghosts, but I refuse to see them. Decided this when I was a kid.
-I love treasure hunts.
-When (generic) geeks not of my social circle gather, I want to run away, crawl under a table, hide. I feel a deeply uncomfortable feeling that is the embarrassed cousin of disdain. Sort of like being at table with someone talking politics with food in his mouth. Awful, huh? It's not 100% of the time, but it is often enough to keep me away from SF cons and Faires. I would have to explain about what kind of geek/group of geeks attracts me in order to clarify this point further.
Is it a matter of time's passage, or of time spent together? That implies that you're listening, observing, and thinking about what you've heard and observed. But how much of that is fiction, created by your own past experience and your assumptions about motivations and background?
-When I'm unhappy about something that I don't want to go to battle over, I become quiet.
-I like to sleep.
-The joy of (good) food has prominence in my thinking. I love to eat. I use food metaphors. I've probably told you that I won't eat with someone I dislike.
-My thoughts are often elsewhere. I space out a lot.
-I know things that you don't expect me to.
Does it come from conversations? If the person you know is the person who is now, his history has contributed to the present version. However, a person is not her history, not if she grows and changes. All people change over time, whether with intent or by having change imposed. Even our memories about our histories change. Whether or not "time turns all memories into good ones", the forward movement that puts chronological distance between now and the event muddles the memory. Try it. Write an event of today down in as much detail as you can, including your emotional impressions. In a few months or a year, go back to what you have written.
-I didn't date in until I was almost 20, and all that implies.
-I was raised Catholic. My first three years of school were at a poor, private Catholic school; then we moved and I went to an affluent public school. I've had periods where I've been a devoted (not devout) Catholic; I sang in the choir for years; I considered becoming a nun. I'm not confirmed -- because I won't make promises unless I intend to keep them.
-I didn't go to kindergarten or pre-school. I can't remember when I first learned to read. In contrast, I got my driver's license at 24. (Unthinkably late, in L.A.)
-I took a computer programming course over the summer months, when I was 12. I was good at it, and I loved it.
-For 5 years, I was sort-of engaged. The last 8 months of it, we were officially engaged. I never got an engagement ring. My official proposal was over a roasted vegetable quesadilla. He only wanted to keep me because I was planning to move to Houston, TX. He never had the guts to officially call it off. I walked out on him. Actually, I ran away for several days. He changed the locks before I got back.
Sometimes, the
Or is it through some other way? When you say to yourself, I know her, what do you mean? When you think, I don't know anything about him, what do you mean? What do you want to know?
-One of my biggest fears is of not being able to breath. I came near drowning in a pool when I was small. I've never liked having a blanket over my head. Gags are un-fun. In my mid-twenties, I developed allergy related asthma... not good. I've learned how not to panic when wheezing starts.
-My future is completely unplanned, because until my last birthday, I hadn't decided if I would have one. I'm looking forward to being an "old lady".
-I believe in ghosts, but I refuse to see them. Decided this when I was a kid.
-I love treasure hunts.
-When (generic) geeks not of my social circle gather, I want to run away, crawl under a table, hide. I feel a deeply uncomfortable feeling that is the embarrassed cousin of disdain. Sort of like being at table with someone talking politics with food in his mouth. Awful, huh? It's not 100% of the time, but it is often enough to keep me away from SF cons and Faires. I would have to explain about what kind of geek/group of geeks attracts me in order to clarify this point further.
