What am I doing... ?
Jan. 25th, 2006 05:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingThere are so many ways that I can answer the question, "What am I doing here?". The two other administrative employees (as opposed to loan officers) have gone home, KP to go running and LL to get her hair done. (They both came in early, while I was in at the usual 9.) Both bosses have also gone, one home, one to get some food. Thus, I am all by myself up here in the view office. Out my window I can see Myrtle Edwards Park, where I went today for a walk with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ironymaiden. The park is undergoing some excavation to removed polluted soil; a side effect that I don't think anyone municipal planned on is that some of the bad chi flow has already been corrected. The entrance to the park is where
[interrupted to take call from LL/end call with LL to take call from KP]
is where the construction beasts are digging. Thor, the crane, waits in the water with several large piles of large, rough stone. Where there used to be a triangle of disordered energy, there is now a lagoon of water, growing larger as the beasts scoop out the crumbly mud.
What am I doing here?
Someone has to answer the phone. In this way, the office is like any shop. We have established hours, and even if there is nothing productive to do, there must be someone here. I'll stay til 5 or so, then stroll down -- I can use the exercise -- to the Free Ride Zone or all the way to Elliott Bay Books, the pre-dinner meeting spot.
At least when I worked in a shop there was always something to clean. My days lately are days of waiting. There are times when we need two people, because what we do happens with deadlines. Then there are times when, like yesterday afternoon, I'm helping KP set up a My Space account. (Not my thing, but good for her.) This is the slow season; it will end, soon I hope.
I am soooo hungry.
I read this last night, and it stood out. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere dark with this contemplation.
'Die! No, no!' he cried. 'It was not worth living so long, and suffering so much, to die now. Death was welcome previously, when I made a resolution to meet it, years ago. But now it would truly be conceding too much to my miserable fate. No, I want to live, I want to struggle to the end.'
I would add the part about recovering happiness and punishing enemies, but it really doesn't apply to me. As a general thing, I don't like people. However, there is no one that I hate. I hate what people do, but there is no one that I hate & consider an enemy. Good thing.
And... I don't think that I have hard feelings toward anyone, at this point in my life, either. I'm annoyed at people who don't do there jobs as I would like them to; that's a different thing. It's not even that I *forgive*. What do I have to forgive? It just is. My world is as I perceive it, so, y'know... Life is Sweet.
As for recovering happiness -- it looks better but the springs are still gone and the padding is still lumpy. Get new happiness when there's a sale on. Silly to wait for someone to give it to you.
What am I doing... what am I doing... . I'm here. I showed up. I'm ready to participate.
ironymaiden. The park is undergoing some excavation to removed polluted soil; a side effect that I don't think anyone municipal planned on is that some of the bad chi flow has already been corrected. The entrance to the park is where [interrupted to take call from LL/end call with LL to take call from KP]
is where the construction beasts are digging. Thor, the crane, waits in the water with several large piles of large, rough stone. Where there used to be a triangle of disordered energy, there is now a lagoon of water, growing larger as the beasts scoop out the crumbly mud.
What am I doing here?
Someone has to answer the phone. In this way, the office is like any shop. We have established hours, and even if there is nothing productive to do, there must be someone here. I'll stay til 5 or so, then stroll down -- I can use the exercise -- to the Free Ride Zone or all the way to Elliott Bay Books, the pre-dinner meeting spot.
At least when I worked in a shop there was always something to clean. My days lately are days of waiting. There are times when we need two people, because what we do happens with deadlines. Then there are times when, like yesterday afternoon, I'm helping KP set up a My Space account. (Not my thing, but good for her.) This is the slow season; it will end, soon I hope.
I am soooo hungry.
I read this last night, and it stood out. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere dark with this contemplation.
'Die! No, no!' he cried. 'It was not worth living so long, and suffering so much, to die now. Death was welcome previously, when I made a resolution to meet it, years ago. But now it would truly be conceding too much to my miserable fate. No, I want to live, I want to struggle to the end.'
I would add the part about recovering happiness and punishing enemies, but it really doesn't apply to me. As a general thing, I don't like people. However, there is no one that I hate. I hate what people do, but there is no one that I hate & consider an enemy. Good thing.
And... I don't think that I have hard feelings toward anyone, at this point in my life, either. I'm annoyed at people who don't do there jobs as I would like them to; that's a different thing. It's not even that I *forgive*. What do I have to forgive? It just is. My world is as I perceive it, so, y'know... Life is Sweet.
As for recovering happiness -- it looks better but the springs are still gone and the padding is still lumpy. Get new happiness when there's a sale on. Silly to wait for someone to give it to you.
What am I doing... what am I doing... . I'm here. I showed up. I'm ready to participate.