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Dec. 19th, 2004 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingI was going to rant about the waitress line from Sideways, but it kind of fizzled out of me before I got to it. I had some other writing to do, and by the end of that, it seemed terribly trivial. Actually, a lot of things seem trivial in the light of what actually does matter.
You know how I can fixate on one thing in a movie (or story in any format), and seem to completely miss the main point? Remember my empassioned reaction to You've Got Mail? It's not that I'm *actually* missing the point.
So at one point in the movie, when Miles is making excuses to Jack about why it won't work with Maia, he exclaims, "She's a waitress... !". He says it with so much derision, in a completely belittling way. Of course this is a flawed character, and the line is probably not meant to endear you to him. But then we find out later that Maia is taking night classes to get a degree in horticulture, and somehow this is presented as being more important than her "perfect palate" for wine.
There is also a certain mysogeny to the film that wasn't especially noticeable to me until I found that I couldn't get the waitress line out of my head. But this isn't meant to be a film review, and honestly, I found the movie very enjoyable.
Why did it bother me? It implies that there is something demeaning about being a waitress. A person is not her job. I started wondering if there were people who would look down on me for working in the service industry. Yes, it does happen -- but they're idiots, like that high school teacher who sneers at me and asks, "How is that artwork coming?" It's most likely to come from the males in their late twenties to mid-forties, the same jerks who expect me to know their name & their drink and laugh at their stupid "jokes". They've seen Fight Club enough to quote from it, yet they still haven't grasped the concept of "don't piss off someone serving you food". (Not that I would do worse than pull decaf.)
Imagine that. Someone looking down on Me.
But I know that I'm not my job. It even makes me happy that those people don't know me as anything other than the coffee girl, because I don't want them to have anything of me besides what I'm paid to give. And y'know, that next person in line? That one, I actually like.
There is nothing low about serving.
And do you know what really does matter?
...Friends who are barely holding on, who I could lose without ever really knowing.
...Going into the darkest day with a focus on the Light.
...Singing meaning back into ceremonies that have lost so much of their sincerity.
...Giving because the act of giving makes you happy, not because you expect to have anything given to you.
You know how I can fixate on one thing in a movie (or story in any format), and seem to completely miss the main point? Remember my empassioned reaction to You've Got Mail? It's not that I'm *actually* missing the point.
So at one point in the movie, when Miles is making excuses to Jack about why it won't work with Maia, he exclaims, "She's a waitress... !". He says it with so much derision, in a completely belittling way. Of course this is a flawed character, and the line is probably not meant to endear you to him. But then we find out later that Maia is taking night classes to get a degree in horticulture, and somehow this is presented as being more important than her "perfect palate" for wine.
There is also a certain mysogeny to the film that wasn't especially noticeable to me until I found that I couldn't get the waitress line out of my head. But this isn't meant to be a film review, and honestly, I found the movie very enjoyable.
Why did it bother me? It implies that there is something demeaning about being a waitress. A person is not her job. I started wondering if there were people who would look down on me for working in the service industry. Yes, it does happen -- but they're idiots, like that high school teacher who sneers at me and asks, "How is that artwork coming?" It's most likely to come from the males in their late twenties to mid-forties, the same jerks who expect me to know their name & their drink and laugh at their stupid "jokes". They've seen Fight Club enough to quote from it, yet they still haven't grasped the concept of "don't piss off someone serving you food". (Not that I would do worse than pull decaf.)
Imagine that. Someone looking down on Me.
But I know that I'm not my job. It even makes me happy that those people don't know me as anything other than the coffee girl, because I don't want them to have anything of me besides what I'm paid to give. And y'know, that next person in line? That one, I actually like.
There is nothing low about serving.
And do you know what really does matter?
...Friends who are barely holding on, who I could lose without ever really knowing.
...Going into the darkest day with a focus on the Light.
...Singing meaning back into ceremonies that have lost so much of their sincerity.
...Giving because the act of giving makes you happy, not because you expect to have anything given to you.
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Life
Date: 2004-12-20 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-21 01:59 am (UTC)Can we still be LJ friends?
no subject
Date: 2004-12-21 05:04 pm (UTC)I guess so ;)