![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflydreamingI realize why I don't post much (anymore). It's because I don't feel that I have things I'd like to tell you. I remember having a lot of things I wanted to put out there, observations and found objects.
It's not that I don't have thoughts, or things that I do, or things going on. Or that I've stopped picking up what shines in the sun. Or that I don't want to tell you things. It's this, the way I feel today: "why would I show you this?"
So many things, you've heard before. I don't want to share gloom. Or the anxious feeling that wafts in on a gust of dissatisfaction.
I stay up too late and don't get enough sleep. And I still have currents that pull me under. And I still get through my days.
I take a lot of photos. Digital cameras in mobile phones are one of the marvels of the modern age. Then I file them away. By the time I'm at a keyboard where I might be able to share, I'm doing something else. I think I should make a form to fill out at least once a week: a photo, a phrase, something about the week. Currently reading. That sort of thing.
My cell phone contract ends today. We're going to go with Republic, probably. It means buying phones, but the service is so much less costly that we'll be ahead after a couple of months.
Ugh! You see? It's so boring. Why would you care about my phone service? Why would you care that I stay up too late? Sometimes I'm writing. Sometimes, I'm online, feeding the vampire. Boring! Look, I organized photos online. Dull!
What I often do is write post like these and then delete them. Or mark them private. But by not saying anything, I'm losing the thread of context.
It's just that there are things like trying to invigoratetsukimineshrine, but being only one of 4 people who ever comment, and what comments there are from the moderator and one other sound like complaints of what they wished had been done better in the show. It's not a celebration. It like, a zombie community. I still love the series, and I see activity about it in other places (FB, tumblr, ff.net), and I thought, "maybe." But it's kind of pointless. What do you do with a dead comm? The shrine might really just be that, an archive of lost vitality and posts with dead links as often as not.
See now? It's late again. And I almost posted this in the wrong place.
It's not that I don't have thoughts, or things that I do, or things going on. Or that I've stopped picking up what shines in the sun. Or that I don't want to tell you things. It's this, the way I feel today: "why would I show you this?"
So many things, you've heard before. I don't want to share gloom. Or the anxious feeling that wafts in on a gust of dissatisfaction.
I stay up too late and don't get enough sleep. And I still have currents that pull me under. And I still get through my days.
I take a lot of photos. Digital cameras in mobile phones are one of the marvels of the modern age. Then I file them away. By the time I'm at a keyboard where I might be able to share, I'm doing something else. I think I should make a form to fill out at least once a week: a photo, a phrase, something about the week. Currently reading. That sort of thing.
My cell phone contract ends today. We're going to go with Republic, probably. It means buying phones, but the service is so much less costly that we'll be ahead after a couple of months.
Ugh! You see? It's so boring. Why would you care about my phone service? Why would you care that I stay up too late? Sometimes I'm writing. Sometimes, I'm online, feeding the vampire. Boring! Look, I organized photos online. Dull!
What I often do is write post like these and then delete them. Or mark them private. But by not saying anything, I'm losing the thread of context.
It's just that there are things like trying to invigorate
tsukimineshrine, but being only one of 4 people who ever comment, and what comments there are from the moderator and one other sound like complaints of what they wished had been done better in the show. It's not a celebration. It like, a zombie community. I still love the series, and I see activity about it in other places (FB, tumblr, ff.net), and I thought, "maybe." But it's kind of pointless. What do you do with a dead comm? The shrine might really just be that, an archive of lost vitality and posts with dead links as often as not.See now? It's late again. And I almost posted this in the wrong place.