I can try to be a creepy stalker if you really want. I may lack talent and training, but I will make up for it with raw enthusiasm! Because that always works.

This is less about finding a native guide than about demonstrating to myself that Seattle is a place populated by good people and therefore I should stop worrying about meeting people there and concentrate on reasonable fears, like that the city will be buried by a volcano. And since you're not only interesting yourself, but surrounded by the finest people I could ever hope to meet, and a few coarser ones too, you seem perfect for the job. Thanks!